2013–14 TV Season: Renewals and Cancellations

Can I start by saying that last Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards weren't as boring as I'd predicted? There was just so much going on: Lady Gaga's mind-blowing, wig-snatching performance (DAT ASS); Miley Cyrus's embarrassingly horrendous performance, which saw her humping a foam finger and twerking her flabby chicken butt against Robin Thicke's crotch (Rihanna's priceless bitchface said it all); the painfully overrated reunion of *NSYNC (yawn); Taylor Swift presumably throwing some shade at Harry Styles during her acceptance speech; and Katy Perry's bland, disposable performance that made me wish she had just jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge. Seriously, I hadn't been this excited about a VMA show since 2009partially due to the absence of the likes of Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj this year.

But I'm actually here to discuss which primetime network shows have been renewed or cancelled. Yes, I do realize that I'm at least a million years late, as most of these announcements were made about three months ago, and we're just a few weeks away from a new TV season, but after the post I wrote last year got so many hits, I felt inspired share my thoughts on this last season. Even if it took me this much time to come up with something worthwhile.

Obviously I'll focus on my favorite shows, but I'll try to cover other shows as well.


ABC


Renewed: CastleGrey's AnatomyLast Man StandingThe MiddleModern FamilyNashvilleThe NeighborsOnce Upon a TimeRevengeScandalSuburgatory
Cancelled: 666 Park AvenueBody of ProofDon't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23Family ToolsHappy EndingsHow to Live with Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life)Last ResortMalibu CountryPrivate Practice (final season) • Red WidowZero Hour
New series: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.Back in the GameBetrayalThe Black Box
The GoldbergsKiller WomenLucky 7Mind GamesMixologyOnce Upon a Time in WonderlandResurrectionSuper Fun NightTrophy Wife

DAMN YOU, ABC!!!! Why did you have to cancel Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23?? I know it was struggling in the ratings in season 2, but c'mon, it's one of the most brilliant, original, and criminally underrated sitcoms in recent years.




Chloe, the Holly Golightly-esque titular bitch played by Krysten Ritter, is one of my main spirit animals (alongside 2 Broke Girls' Max, obvs). Charming, glamorous, cynical, amoral, shameless, and comically sociopathic, she is always doing and/or saying the most absurd, batshit crazy stuff.


She always has some wise words to live by, too.



Have I mentioned her insanely fabuleux wardrobe?


Seriously, the girl looks impeccable in every single episode. Even her casual, stay-at-home clothes are rad.

Above all, Chloe is so confident and headstrong, and she isn't afraid to get what she wants—which often results in collateral damage. Even her naive small-town roommate June (Dreama Walker) admitted that Chloe pushed her to do things she never did on her own.



And although Chloe may come across as backstabbing and selfish, deep down (like, really deep down) she can be a sweetheart as well—she just has her own way to show that she cares.


From what I gather, Apartment 23 suffered from randomly ordered episodes, strange time slots (which I will elaborate on further down), lack of promotion, and a questionable name. In fact, ABC didn't even seem to care much for the show. At least the remaining eight episodes were made available on ABC.com (until June 2), Hulu, and iTunes starting May 17. Ugh, I highly doubt there will ever be another show that matches the unique wit and sassitude of Apartment 23.


On the plus side, Ritter is set to star in NBC's single-camera comedy pilot Assistance!!! Based on the play of the same name by Bachelorette director Leslye Headland, the show centers on Nora (Ritter), a workaholic assistant who is caught between her "work husband" colleague (Zach Cregger) and her real-life fiancé (Peter Cambor) while trying to manage her demanding boss (Alfred Molina). Here is Ritter while filming scenes for the show in New York City:

I want her body so bad

Looks like the bitch has a real job now. By the way, I'm so getting a The Devil Wears Prada vibe off of it. If this is nearly as brilliant as Apartment 23, I already love it. Meanwhile, her co-star Walker is set to guest-star in the second episode of New Girl's upcoming third season, where she will play Molly, a "mean girl" teacher who torments Jess (Zooey Deschanel) at the new school where she takes a temp job. Can't wait!

Fellow cult favorite Happy Endings, which I enjoyed occasionally, didn't have a happy ending after all. Last January, ABC attempted to draw in more viewers for Apartment 23 and Happy Endings by airing them on Sunday, in addition to their regular Tuesday time slots. However, after two weeks of low-rated showings
which saw both shows plunge to series lowsthe network pulled the two comedies from its Sunday night lineup, before completely yanking Apartment 23 from its schedule. After USA Network passed on picking up Happy Endings, Sony Pictures TV began shopping the show around to other potential distributors, including Netflix, TBS, and NBC, but due to the impending expiration of the lead actors' options, the series' cancellation was made official on June 28.

Elsewhere, I have major love for Suburgatory and Revenge. The former's star Jane Levy is not only gorgeous (pale and redhaired, 'nuff said), but also very talented. I'm even considering watching Evil Dead just because of her, as disturbingly gory as that film might be.

I refuse to comment any further on ABC. Those assholes.



CBS

Renewed: 2 Broke GirlsThe Big Bang TheoryBlue BloodsCriminal MindsCSI: Crime Scene InvestigationElementaryThe Good WifeHawaii Five-0How I Met Your MotherThe MentalistMike & MollyNCISNCIS: Los AngelesPerson of InterestTwo and a Half Men
Cancelled: CSI: NYGolden BoyMade in JerseyPartnersRules of EngagementVegas
New series: Bad TeacherThe Crazy OnesFriends with Better LivesHostagesIntelligenceThe MillersMomRecklessWe Are Men

One look at my lifechanging recaps should be enough to realize that my undying obsession with 2 Broke Girls
especially Kat Denningsis no secret. After becoming TV's number-one new comedy of the 2011–12 season (I never get tired of saying that), the raunchy, envelope-pushing sitcom remained one of the top-rated shows on Monday nights this last season.

I, for one, found the second season to be consistently hilarious. I know the show has its occasional flaws, but I can't help but love and relate to it. Not even your oh-so-loved cable shows are completely flawless. Besides,
I find your opinion to be highly irrelevant.


CBS has ordered six comedies and three dramas for the 2013–14 season, including the single-camera (yes, no laugh track) sitcom The Crazy Ones, which stars Robin Williams and Sarah Michelle Gellar (!!) as father and daughter. I'm so rooting for Sarah, especially after the low-rated CW thriller Ringer, which I loved, was cancelled last year. The show will also star Amanda Setton, who is probably best known as Penelope, one of Blair's minions in Gossip Girl.

Since I don't really care about the rest, and I spent most of this post raving about Apartment 23, how about we just enjoy some pictures of Kat Dennings with other similarly awesome people?

Kat Dennings and Zooey Deschanel!!!

Kat Dennings and Jessica Chastain!!!!!

KAT DENNINGS AND KRYSTEN RITTER!!!!!!!!!!


Wouldn't it be the best if they were all cast in a film together? Duh, of course it would!


The CW


Renewed: ArrowBeauty and the BeastThe Carrie DiariesHart of DixieNikitaSupernaturalThe Vampire Diaries
Cancelled: 90210 (final season) • CultEmily Owens, M.D.Gossip Girl (final season)
New series: The 100The OriginalsReignStar-CrossedThe Tomorrow People

Despite less-than-stellar ratings, The CW surprisingly renewed The Carrie Diaries for a second season. Hell yeah!!



I'm completely taken with this lovely little show. At first, it might come across as the slightly racier version of a Disney Channel show, but in reality, I'd say it's so much more than that. As most people know by now, The Carrie Diaries is a prequel to the iconic HBO dramedy Sex and the City and is based on the novel series by Candace Bushnell. Now that my beloved Gossip Girl is no more, I need a new go-to fashion-themed teen drama to fill the void, and quite frankly, there aren't many compelling teen dramas on TV anymore—y'know, the kind that doesn't involve vampires or some other supernatural shit. I might be 23, but I'll never be too old for teen dramas.

Aside from a few backstory inconsistencies, I do think the show has a lot of potential. Lead actress AnnaSophia Robb effortlessly slipped into tough-to-fill stilettos to play 16-year-old Carrie Bradshaw before she turned into a whiny horseface back when she was an aspiring writer living in 1984 Connecticut. The girl is going places.

Eric Daman, the costume designer behind The Carrie Diaries, is best known for his wardrobe work on Sex and the City and Gossip Girl, so it's no wonder that the fashion is simply to die for.




Needless to say I had the hardest time picking my fave looks.

Unfortunately, The Carrie Diaries averaged just 1.14 million viewers during its inaugural season, and apparently failed to click with both the usual CW audience of teenagers (due to the '80s nostalgia factor) and diehard Sex and the City fans. Well, I happen to love the '80s, and I'm a massive SATC fan (although I only became a fan after the show ended), so I'm probably an exception.

As much as I loved season 1, I hope the show gets bolder and edgier in season 2. This might as well happen, considering that this coming season will finally introduce my favorite Sex and the City character—Samantha fucking Jones! And she is the cousin of Donna LaDonna, Carrie's nemesis. (On a side note, could there possibly be a better name for an '80s villain than Donna LaDonna?) On July 20, newcomer Lindsey Gort was cast as the iconic maneater originally portrayed by Kim Cattrall.



Dang, her resemblance to Cattrall is uncanny. I wonder if Gort's Samantha will be as outspoken and sexually liberated as the original.


Well, this is The CW we're talking about, so I'm guessing her hilariously infamous one-liners will have to be toned down a little.

For its 13-episode second season, The Carrie Diaries will be moving to the dreaded Friday night slot this fall. Ugh, that is so depressing. But I should be thankful that it's
at least getting a second season at all.


I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Gossip Girl has ended. Not to sound corny or anything, but the show's been part of my life for ages. Let's face it, GG is perfect escapism—it's fun, sexy, glamorous, dramatic, and scandalous, and features wealthy, good-looking young people living the kind of lives we all dream of (admit it!). It's such a shame that things went rather off the rails around seasons 4 and 5, and people seemed to forget why it was once hailed as the Greatest Show of Our Time. Nevertheless, it's safe to say that my life will never be quite the same without new episodes of Gossip Girl, or the boner-inducing glorious sight of Chace Crawford.

Swoon

Double swoon

ERMAHGERD


Now that Veronica Mars will be hitting the big screen in 2014 (seven years after the show's cancellation), I wonder how other fans would feel about the possibility of a Gossip Girl film. I'm sure Penn Badgley would love the idea. I know I would, although I'm not sure how that would roll out now that Gossip Girl's identity is finally revealed.

Conversely, freshman entry Arrow was given an early renewal along with veteran series The Vampire Diaries and Supernatural. Based on DC Comics' Green Arrow, the superhero drama gave The CW its highest-rating premiere since The Vampire Diaries in 2009. Overall, this engaging, action-packed show really got me hooked. It doesn't hurt that Stephen Amell is such a man candy.



However, I feel that most characters can be rather one-dimensional sometimes. I'm particularly disappointed with Katie Cassidy, who is perhaps best known for her past roles as sassy vamps on the network's Melrose Place and Gossip Girl. It's not like I expected her to just mime those roles, but I did hope she would bring some of that sass to her character, which unfortunately wasn't the case. Still, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, as there are some exciting surprises in store for her character in season 2.

Nikita will return for a six-episode fourth and final season. Kind of expected, but still sad news for me. As for 90210, no one seemed to care about the finale, which pulled in a measly 0.51 million viewers. I remember being obsessed with it during its first two seasons, but then it just became... blah. Even though that didn't stop me from watching every single episode, I wouldn't say I'm going to really miss the show. For what it's worth, I think AnnaLynne McCord was brilliant as Naomi Clark, and I hope to be seeing more of her in the future.

The CW's pilots are usually the ones I look forward to the most, but surprisingly enough, none of the upcoming shows
really tickled my fancy. Except maybe for Reign, a period drama which sort of struck me as the 16th-century version of Gossip Girl, with a dash of The Tudors.



Fox

Renewed: 24 (revival) • American Dad!Bob's BurgersBonesFamily GuyThe FollowingGleeThe Mindy ProjectNew GirlRaising HopeThe Simpsons
Cancelled: Ben and KateThe Cleveland ShowFringe (final season) • The Mob DoctorTouch
New series: Almost HumanBrooklyn Nine-NineDadsEnlistedGang RelatedMurder PoliceRakeSleepy HollowSurviving JackUs & ThemWayward Pines

Yep, New Girl remains the only Fox show I watch. Much like season 1, I found season 2 to be rather hit-and-miss, containing both hilarious moments and "meh" offerings. It's still a really fun show, and I don't plan on giving up on it anytime soon.

Is Mindy Kaling's The Mindy Project any good? I was contemplating watching it because of Gossip Girl alumna Amanda Setton, but she left the show after 12 episodes due to "creative reasons." I might still give it a go sometime in the future.

Step up your game, Fox. Just saying.


NBC



Renewed: Chicago FireCommunityGrimmHannibalLaw & Order: Special Victims UnitParenthoodParks and RecreationRevolution
Cancelled: 1600 Penn30 Rock (final season) • Animal PracticeDeceptionDo No HarmGo OnGuys with KidsThe New NormalThe Office (final season) • Ready for LoveSmashUp All NightWhitney
New series: About a BoyBelieveThe BlacklistChicago PDCrisisCrossbonesDraculaGrowing Up FisherIronsideThe Michael J. Fox ShowThe Night ShiftSean Saves the WorldUndateableWelcome to the Family

Much like its preceding season, the fourth season of Community was a mixed bag, which is unfortunate for a sitcom that used to be so funny and clever. Now I'm not even sure if it's really worth six seasons and a movie. The show has been renewed for yet another 13-episode season, with creator Dan Harmon set to return as executive producer/showrunner. Here's hoping that this somehow helps Community get back on track in the season(s) to come.

Except for Chicago Fire, Hannibal, and Revolution, NBC pulled the plug on most of its first-year series—Do No Harm was cancelled after airing just two episodes, while the Dane Cook-led sitcom Next Caller was axed before even airing.
Smash, Up All Night, and Whitney were all cancelled after two seasons.


Poor Matthew Perry can't seem to catch a break, as Go On becomes his third post-Friends show to tank (following Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Mr. Sunshine). I did watch The New Normal occasionally, and it had its fun moments. NeNe Leakes was awesome in it, per usual.


Considering NBC's plummeting ratings these days, I'm starting to fear for Krysten Ritter's Assistance, which, for starters, is nowhere to be found on the network's upcoming fall lineup. I hope to God it doesn't premiere as a midseason replacement, as most of these seem to be doomed from the start (e.g., Apartment 23).

Chicago Fire has caught my interest a few times, especially because... well... 


Yes, I think with my genitals.

After much speculation, NBC finally decided to renew the midseason drama Hannibal for a second season on May 30, more than two weeks after the network's upfront presentation. Not my cup of tea, but I totally have the hots for Hugh Dancy—he was so effing dreamy in Confessions of a Shopaholic (don't you dare judge me).

That is all for now. Ta-ta!

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