Episode 2: I Get Ideas
Sorry these recaps have been so late in coming. I fully expect to be back on schedule by next week. But enough about me, let’s talk about how great these shows have been.
Episode two starts with the fallout from Elijah and Marnie’s ill-fated hook-up. Elijah’s boyfriend George breaks up with him, citing the age difference and he doesn’t want to wait for Elijah to figure things out. I guess I can understand that, but Elijah is such a catch. Meanwhile, Hannah does aerobics (poorly) in leopard print leggings.
Later—aka after the title—Hannah and Elijah watch Adam’s uncomfortably personal Youtube music video. It’s very tragic in a hilarious way. They debate whether or not Adam is murdery or just sexy in a murdery way. I’d have to say the latter; I can’t imagine Adam murdering anyone, as creepy as he can be. Also, what is Hannah wearing? Is that just a sleeping bag?
Elsewhere, Marnie goes to a shitty job interview at another art gallery. She doesn’t get the job, and goes back to her and Shoshanna’s apartment, where she and Ray are in bed being all cute. Marnie bitches about her lack of a job, and Shoshanna tells her about an amazing hostess job. Marnie’s not so sure about it, but Shoshanna makes the call for her.
There’s a brief scene where Hannah and Sandy (Donald Glover) are brushing their teeth in the bathroom, when Elijah comes in and stirs up some drama. Let’s just say there’s no love lost between these two boys.
Oh, and Jessa’s back from her honeymoon. She’s busy painting a portrait of her new hubbie, Thomas (played by a doughy yet totally fuckable Chris O’Dowd). Jessa bemoans how bad it is compared to her other lovers’ portraits. But Thomas says it’s because she really loves him. I doubt it.
Hannah stops by just as Thomas starts freaking out about the time. He goes to leave, but not before he shows Hannah his and Jessa’s new tattoos, have a conversation about “shorteralls” (shorts + overalls), and leaves Jessa a present. Surprise! It’s three “fetus-sized” puppies! “I’ll call this one Garbage, this one Fucker, and this one—”
“Hannukah?” Hannah chimes in.
They go to the park and Hannah tells Jessa about her relationship woes. About how Sandy hasn’t read her essay yet and how he’s a staunch republican. Jessa thinks it odd that he hasn’t read it, since it’s important to Hannah. That and republicans are just as bad as democrats, so why should that matter? Jessa acts rather smug in this scene, saying the “hunt is over” for her now that she’s married. I can’t believe Jessa is truly happy as a married woman.
That night at Sandy’s place, Hannah asks him about the essay again. He confesses he read it a few days ago, but he didn’t like it. He said it didn’t seem like anything happened in it. Hannah tries to play it cool, but she’s clearly upset by it. Author drama, you know?
This segues into them fighting about race and gay rights and gun control and Missy Elliott. At the end of the argument, they decide that their opinions are just too different and they break up. I personally think they’re both being assholes about it, but hey, I’m a pretty big asshole, too.
Marnie stops by Hannah’s, but only Elijah’s there. He’s adamant about them not telling Hannah about them hooking up. Elijah cites Hannah’s fragile emotional state. Also, he thinks Marnie’s work uniform looks like she’s “a slutty Von Trapp child.” Elijah leaves just as Hannah comes back.
She immediately head for the fridge and grabs a tub of Cool Whip (a girl after my own heart...or is it stomach?). She takes note of Marnie’s sexy new hostess uniform, commenting that at least she’s “not cashing in” on her sexuality. Marnie essentially says that Hannah isn’t sexy enough to cash in on it herself.
Later that evening, as Hannah attempts to cut her own bangs—in bed, I should add—she gets a text from Adam that he’s downstairs. She turns off the lights, but Adam texts her again that he saw her turn the lights off. He then jumps into her room and scares her, like he’s an eight-year-old. Apparently Adam still has a key. Oh, and can he have a glass of milk (what?!). Hannah dials 911 but hangs up immediately. After he’s had his milk, she asks him to leave, but, again, he acts like stupid spoiled kid and won’t leave until she screams at him and shoves him against the door.
And then the cops show up. Hannah didn’t think they’d actually show up, but yes, even if you call and hang up, they will still come and check on you. Anyway, Adam is pissed, Hannah is pissed. They both want to take out restraining orders on each other.
Oh, and Adam has some outstanding tickets, so the cops arrest him and leave Hannah in the hallway, saying “I’m so sorry!”
Episode 3: Bad Friend
This episode made my life.
Hannah goes in for a job interview at a blog called “Jazzhate,” where the interview hires her on a freelance basis. When Hannah asks what she should write about, she says to write about threesomes or doing a lot of cocaine. Hannah is hesitant about either, and the interviewer points to a picture on the wall. It’s one of those fucking atrocious inspirational metaphors about “getting outside your comfort zone.”
|Can you punch a concept in the face?|
Meanwhile, Marnie, Jessa and Shoshanna are having some sort of sidewalk sale. Yeah, I don’t know why, either. Just girls being girls, I guess.
Hannah swings by after the interview and asks where she could score some coke. Marnie suggests asking Laird, the junkie who lives downstairs from Hannah.
Hannah visits Laird (played by Delocated’s Jon Glaser), and after some awkward small talk and pomegranate juice, Hannah asks if she could score some coke. He says he’s clean now, but because he’s into her, he’ll help her out. Later, Hannah and Elijah get ready for a night of cocaine and debauchery. They plan to go out dancing, and Elijah picks out a terrible outfit for Hannah.
Marnie runs into smarmy artist Booth Johnathan at her job, and he convinces her to come back to his place. After she says how terrible he and his art is. Apparently that’s a turn on for him.
Cut to: Hannah and Elijah coked up out of their minds. Still at the apartment, they rattle off all the things they want to do, including how to write checks, what Hannah wants at her wedding, and that Elijah wants to raise show dogs. That last one she writes on her bedroom wall in sharpie.
At the club, they get sweaty and crazy and amazing. “We’re the sexiest people here!”
Hannah swaps shirts with a random dancer, and spends the rest of the episode in a yellow mesh tank top. It’s kind of fabulous, actually.
They go into the club’s bathroom to do more coke, and the truth comes out: Elijah confesses he had sex with Marnie. Hannah is coked up and freaking out. “I hate you. I hate you!” says Hannah. “I didn’t even cum in her!” says Elijah. Hannah texts Marnie.
What has Marnie been up to, anyway? Well, she went home with Booth. He showed her around the studio, and she looked at all of his terrible art. He locked her in a TV prison that showed images of nature films, babies, and things dying, all to the tune of “Barely Breathing” by Duncan Sheik.
And he leaves her in there for a while. He lets her out and she tells him how talented he is. (cue eye roll from me) And then they have the weirdest, most awkward sex on this show yet. It involves a creepy old doll, and that’s all the more I want to say on the subject.
|"Look at the doll..."|
Are we supposed to agree with Marnie that Booth’s art is amazing? Because I hate everything about the guy. Afterward, Marnie gets a text from Hannah, and Marnie tells her where to find her.
Hannah and Elijah are at a drug store, looking for vitamins or something. Hannah tells Elijah, “I was supposed to be your last.” He’s indignant at the idea. But Hannah plants one on him anyway. It’s then that they notice Laird. He’s been following them all night.
Turns out he feels awful about giving Hannah drugs, but he couldn’t say no to her.
The gang shows up at Booth’s. Hannah tells it like it is: Marnie is a bad friend for fucking Elijah in the first place, and then not coming clean later (it’s been about a month since). They can still be friends, but Marnie is now the “bad friend.” I’m inclined to agree. Also, Hannah’s kicking Elijah out. That makes me sad. I hope he’s still on the show because I love the dynamic between him and Hannah.
Hannah leaves with Laird. They go back to the apartment building, and Hannah jumps all over Laird. And this is the first time I’ve ever found Jon Glaser sexy. In a kind of disheveled, dirty way.
|Am I right? I'm totally right.|
Episode 2: Revenge Play
The episode starts with Amy's narration: “The world is vast and complex....You must act.”
At the office in the morning, Tyler tells Amy he still has reservations about burning bridges. She again convinces him it’s the right thing to do. She wants to win one “for the little guys.” Tyler isn’t convinced their co workers would be that grateful.
Amy ruminates in her head about how blind and numb everyone is. They need to wake up, but is hurting them the only way to do it? She calls Jeff (the reporter) and says she’s in.
That night, Amy and Tyler meet Jeff in a smoky jazz bar.
Jeff tells them he’s been working on bringing down Abaddonn for years. There’s a vast conspiracy, but he’s focused on correspondences between a certain senator and a CEO of Abaddonn. If they can get proof of bribery, that could bring the whole company down. As usual , Amy is gung-ho for it, but Tyler is still not on board; who will get hurt in the fallout?
Amy has a dream that night about her and a bunch of government agents swarming the company, seizing everything and arresting the CEO. And they also arrest Amy’s former assistant, Krista, to Amy’s dismay.
Next morning, Amy gets a frantic call from Tyler. Her mother is concerned, but Amy downplays it as she leaves for work. Tyler takes Amy aside when she arrives, and tells her they’re going to do a diagnostic sweep of their computers because someone—Amy—was logged on when some executives couldn’t access their accounts.
Their conversation is cut short when their co-worker, Omar, comes into the break room. He asks them why they’re always together. Dating? Office fuck buddies? Amy diffuses the situation by telling him Tyler is helping her with a website. Omar laughs, and calls Tyler a “tiny, little albino man.” What a dick.
Dougie, their boss, lets everyone know that IT will be in tomorrow to check their computers, so “hide your porn.” Oh, Dougie. As brash and disgusting as ever.
Outside, Tyler is freaking out again, but Amy isn’t concerned. Probably because she doesn’t understand computers that well. Before they can get any further, they notice an ambulance take a very pregnant Krista away. Amy asks what happened, and no one knows; she might have had a seizure. Amy goes to the hospital, but no one will give her information.
Amy goes home, defeated. Her mother asks what’s wrong. Amy relays the whole sorry affair with Krista. Amy’s mom suggests giving her the pillow she’s just finished needlepointing as a kind of peace offering.
|Everyone loves pillows!|
Next morning, the IT guys are at everyone’s computers. Tyler pulls Amy aside (god this happens a lot, doesn’t it?) and lets her know he fixed it. Amy’s confused until he says he swapped her hard drive with someone else’s. And he flashes her an amazingly devious smile.
|I'd be disturbed by this if I didn't think Mike White was adorable.|
Finally, Tyler is taking the initiative! Can you guess whom he might have swapped her drive with?
After the IT guys are done with her computer, Amy has a brief chat with Connie, her prudish and very religious co-worker. Amy asks if she believes in karma, but Connie says no, she believes in God’s will. Amy tells her about Krista, and Connie offers to pray with her. Amy is taken aback by the sudden kindness.
They pray for a few minutes until the IT guys find something suspicious on Omar’s hard drive. They take him into Dougie’s office, and he flips the fuck out. Amy takes this opportunity to visit Krista in the hospital. Tyler can only sit and smile at Omar’s tantrum.
Krista is not happy to see Amy, but does her best to hide it. Amy gives her the pillow, and tries to apologize for everything, but Krista doesn’t want to get into it. She just wants to rest.
Amy drives back to work—and hey, she got her car fixed! As she walks through the parking lot, she runs into Omar, who’s been sent packing. He understandably pissed off. He tells her that the company is bullshit, and she should get out now. He gets in his car, flips off Abaddonn, and drives away. I hope we see more of Omar, because I think Jason Mantzoukas was underutilized in this role.
|And the promo pic for this season even shows him leaving! WTF|
In the office, tensions are high. Dougie is fired up, and Tyler is full of energy from his deception. Amy narrates the end, reminding herself that “Hell is paved with good intentions....My intentions are so good,” as she looks across the office at Omar’s empty desk.
Episode 3: Higher Power
For the past two episodes—which I’ve loved, by the way—I’ve been waiting for Levi, Amy’s ex, played by the surprisingly sexy Luke Wilson, to make his appearance. When last we saw him, he was getting on a plane to Hawaii, going to the same rehab resort Amy did.
Thankfully this episode answers what’s been going on with him. This episode doesn’t start with Amy’s usual narration, because this episode is all about Levi. Instead it starts with Amy’s mom, Helen, finding a letter from Levi in the mail. She gives it to Amy and asks her to read it to her. Amy doesn’t get why she would, since Helen never liked Levi before.
No, instead Amy reads it herself. Levi shares his hatred of the program. He hates the meditation, the group therapy, the food, his flatulent roommate. He even tried to find that turtle Amy saw, but all he could see in the ocean is all the garbage left there. It’s a stark contrast to Amy’s experience.
Amy crumples the letter up and throws it away. Helen says that maybe it’s time for her to let Levi go. Amy does not want to hear that.
From here on out, it’s all Levi. His roommate, Tony, is always farting and is sort of a slob. He hates all the whining people in group, and doesn’t want to share; he thinks it’s all bullshit.
He meets two wild and crazy kids who try to get him to go partying at the nearby hotel. He declines at first. Later, at his one-on-one therapy session, he lets some things out, but he’s still guarded. He wants to tune out the world.
Later, he has it out with Tony about how awful he thinks he is.
|Poor Tony :(|
At dinner, he lets the two party kids know he’s down for partying. From there they go to the hotel that’s just down the beach, do a bunch of coke in the bathroom, go dancing, get more wasted, do more partying, get more wasted, etc, etc.
They hang out in this old guy’s hotel room. Levi and the cute blonde have a semi-informative conversation about their exes. She asks Levi if he’s still in love with her and he pretty much says yes. She rolls her eyes at him and parties with the old guy. Then she leaves with him. Goodbye, blonde party girl!
The other kid, who is played by Charlie from Girls, throws up in the toilet and confesses if he doesn’t keep up with the program, he’s going to jail. Levi seems concerned, but not enough to help him back to the rehab resort in the morning.
When he returns, he learns that Tony has covered for him. Tony also apologizes for being gross, it’s just the toll the drugs have taken on his body over the years. Levi apologizes, too. It’s a really great scene.
Levi writes Amy another letter. Even though he thinks it’s all bullshit, he’s doing the meditation, the therapy, eating the crappy food, and he’s doing it all for her. He writes to her that he doesn’t believe in a higher power, but then realizes “maybe you’re my higher power.” Christ, this show knows how to get me crying. Such a fantastic episode.