Ashton Kutcher To Be First Tool in Space

So I am pretty bummed tonight- it's been a sad day- but how could I not laugh my ass off when I read this headline:

Ashton Kutcher Headed to Space!

Yup, apparently Richard "I'm Obviously Insane and Hairy" Branson tapped him to go into space. I can only imagine the great dialogues that will go on up there with Ashton in orbit, judged from the half-episode of the new Two and a Half Men I somehow got caught watching.

Ashton:'s space....and stuff.
*pulls out Blackberry and tweets*

Anyway, I don't really have anything against Ashton, but I've been Team Demi since Day 1 and I'm not backing down.  Also:  space is a whore.

And I feel better now.

In related news, Kathy Bates is playing the ghost of Charlie Sheen on an upcoming episode of Two and a Half Men. You betcha.