A Valentine's Day Essay, By Brittany

What's the best date movie for today? Well that's sort of a rough question, isn't it? Don't you want something all smoky-eyed and noirlike for your betrothed?!?

NO? Okay.

My pick would be, since you asked so kindly, the Silence of the Lambs.

It's an unorthodox pick, sssssure. But listen here, males of the reading audience:  no matter how bad and how awkward your date is with Jane from yoga, Ellen from Craigslist, Judy from OKCupid, Amir from accounting, you can just be like, clearing your throat:  bitch, at least I'm not going to eat you.