Do you remember this summer when I spent all my passing time at the library and wrote a review of the SUGARFREE ENERGY DRINKS?
well, yeah. duh. that post was epic.
Today though, I found out my 99 cent caffeine booster at the was MIA. (yeah, I jumped ships, sue me! I r only humann). Which led me in a dilemma:
- should I get coffee? (nahhhh coffee is better at night when I want to postpone sleep)
- should I just get a Diet Coke? (no.)
So I tried one of these damn Neuro Waters I see everywhere. Apparently they help you:
- have sex
- lose weight
- be happy
- cure cancer
- join the cast of Two and a Half Men
The ads on the subway proudly tell me that "yeah, there's a Neuro for that." Isn't that some like Apple promotion? "Yeah, there's an app for that." Oh blow me. (just saying!)
Well, I ended up picking the water that's supposed to make you "playfully energetic" AKAKAKAKA "neurogasm."
Yup. The sexy water.
Sometimes I'm impressed by how insanely intelligent I am. Like really Harvard, you passed up on this?
Well so, I started today wanting to kill everything and everyone. By the time noon rolled around, all I wanted to do was rearrange furniture.
I did not want to have sex with anything or anyone until about 4 p.m. and that was an accident.
CONCLUSION: NEURO-GASM IS BULLSHIT
I will leave you with this, Snake Oil Man:
I MISS TV