The Useless Critic Does DC


So on the night of Brittany Kemp’s birth renewal, we decided to hit the city, and by the city I mean we got to walk on the sunshine of the nation’s capital.
And no, we did not score with the cast of that crappy MTV Show. (Get it? The City? Get it?)

So in addition to trading business cards with the top politicians and yelling “HI MICHELLE” to the White House, we explored the true roots of American History.

Actually, I am a total liar. We spent about an hour just looking at dresses in a museum exhibition on First Ladies. I felt I was unfolding my critiques like the least likable judge on “Project Runway.” (Michael Kors).

After getting in touch with the nation’s heritage, we toured Washington D.C.’s restaurant scene, and we even got to participate in what is known as a Pub Quiz Trivia Night. Thanks to an anonymous source, our team name was unfortunately,

“If you built your house next to the Mississippi River, I don’t feel sorry for you,”

And proudly, I can state that we got the largest amount of disrespect. Even the pub quiz moderator took a stab at us.

QATFYG:
Is it ironic that that was our team name, considering we have a link in Be Useful to Help the South?

And more importantly,
What did we truly learn about the nation’s capital?

Lots of Ethiopians.

PS: Department of Justice BITCH!

Comments

  1. Dan picks the best names.

    Jackie O's gown was the shit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. whoa that DOJ bird is shitting all over the u.s. flag. sounds about right.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hey i changed that link to something about giving kids video games.

    ReplyDelete

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