The Useless Critic

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Posted by Britt Kemp on March 30, 2011

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LARRY HAS A BLOG

http://steelcityreflections.wordpress.com/

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Crescent Direct Guitar Review

Crescent Direct Guitars -- Full Review

This is a guitar they are trying to sell to you for just $35 (free shipping).

Image edited to hide the glare from the fingerprints.

So on eBay and other parts of the internet, there is a company called “Crescent Direct,” that is selling a brand new guitar full size (38 inches) for $34.99 in a black finish, including a 30 day return policy. Furthermore, there are now about over 1,000 positive reviews backing up this guitar.

Is a Crescent Direct Guitar a scam or just an insanely hot deal?

Well, here is what your life might be like after taking the gamble and purchasing a Crescent Direct Guitar.

There is an important note at the end.

When I received this guitar, there was no sealing on the box. It was not a Crescent Direct box, but some green thing that had the word “Guitar” written in different languages “La Guitarra,” “Chitarra” or “La Guitarre.” The box was also torn, and I will note again that there was not any kind of protective sealing.

No tape.

No…

Top 5 Jerry Springer Episodes

You may notice that I have a random nature about my posts, and I have posted about Jerry Springer recently, but there is a BIG reason for this.

When I googled Top episodes of Jerry Springer, I could not find a list. So Congratulations, the Useless Critic hosts the first list of Top Jerry Springer Episodes on the Web (to my knowledge anyway. this is the same as winning a grammy!!)

I’m happy I cut off my legs
The story of a transvestite, who after many times of trying to get his legs infected to the point of amputation actually cut his/her legs off with a power saw.

I’m a Breeder for the Klan
The Klan episodes of Jerry Springer are possibly the best. This one shows the Klansmen and the fascists get their asses handed to them and they look BAD (bad as in stupid.)

Mister Ooh La La (Not the real title, but the important part)
Lousy women compete for the heart of a flamboyant Frenchman, who legally changed his name to Mr. Ooh la la.

Tales of the Midget Klan
A surprising tale of a group of a little…

I Do It Alone: Shopping

IT'S BACK BITCHES. Guess what it didn't die; I just didn't have any contributors for a long time.

I Do It Alone: Shopping
by Erin Cline

We all have our weird shit. The shit no one sees, save for MAYBE your BFF or MAYBE your partner—and even those are big maybes. The beautiful thing about the weird shit is that it’s not necessarily something that is kinky or hazardous to the health or safety of yourself or others; no, nothing like that...at least, not in this story. Right now, I’m simply referring to the shit you don’t want to show others for fear of them confirming exactly what you already know: You’re a huge fucking weirdo.

My preference for shopping alone started when I was a teenager, and, initially, there was only one person I refused to venture out with—one of my dearest friends to this day is a serious shopping addict and always has been; she has to look at every item in every section and has an annoying habit of calling dibs on everything in the store until she decides…

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