In re: Rolling Stone's Best of 2010 Issue

Every now and then I feel the need to give my opinion on things. When looking at Rolling Stone magazine in the bathroom tonight, I felt the need to weigh in.

The trick to being really angry about stuff is to do the compliment sandwich. If you don't know what that means, I'll make another post about it later. So on that note let's just start with what Rolling Stone did right.


Top 30 albums of 2010:

Including these in the top 30 albums was very appropriate:
• 14. Robyn, Body Talk
• 20. Neil Young, Le Noise

Although, with context, something positive can become egregious. The index page features a picture of Robyn with the caption "14th best album of the year!" Hardly. It's probably the best dance album of the decade, and I doubt anything else on the list comes close. What's worse:

13. Taylor Swift, Speak Now
14. Robyn, Body Talk

Come on, Rolling Stone, are these pity points?

Other albums receiving undue praise:
• 7. Drake, Thank Me Later
• 9. Eminem, Recovery
• 17. Beach House, Teen Dream
• 30. Rick Ross, Teflon Don

These are mediocre at best. The Eminem album is hailed as the "comeback of the year." Really? It's listenable, but hardly among his best. What's worse is the fact that a third-tier Cocteau Twins cover band is being lauded as something potentially memorable. I haven't heard the other 23 albums, but if you have, please reply with your opinions.


Top 50 Singles of the Year:

Fair enough, these deserved inclusion:
• 8. Janelle MonĂ¡e feat. Big Boi, "Tightrope"
• 24. Eminem, "Not Afraid"

What were they thinking?
• 4. Katy Perry, "Teenage Dream"
You know how I feel. It's catchy, but pales in comparison to that Ke$ha song with the same beat.
• 50. Ke$ha, "We R Who We R"
The only Ke$ha song to make the list is the worst, worst Ke$ha song. Remember, Animal was released in 2010. This song is worse than the first 10 seconds of "Stephen".

Misguided!
• 26. Robyn, "Dancing on My Own"
Excited about the include, but I've done the math and there are 14 Body Talk songs that are better than "Dancing on My Own". I can prove it later, but this post is long enough as it is. Selecting which songs are singles is not Rolling Stone's fault, but there were better singles.


Other stuff included in this issue that stinks:

• Nicki Minaj: She's not unlistenable, but when I see captions like, "unstoppable M.C.," they are so obviously bought and paid for acclamations rather than legitimate hype. I don't belieeeve you. Who is talking about Nicki? Nobody. Other than Young Money's dollars and something else I can't remember.

• Das Racist: You can make funny music without making bad music. See They Might Be Giants.

• Inception/Christopher Nolan as #2 movie of the year. This isn't so much tricky or cerebral as it is an action flick that fell short of its potential. You might as well give the screenplay for Transformers a Pulitzer.

• Lack of inclusion of Potter in top movies list. Suck dust.

• Conan's return as a major event of 2010: Nobody noticed when he came back!

• Not waiting to actually review Ciara's Basic Instinct or Diddy - Dirty Money's Last Train to Paris before making the top 30 albums list, two significant December drops. I'm not even talking about Kanye West, but people are already starting to say that Diddy outdid him.



And to complete the sandwich, I promise not to comment on the Pitchfork list.

Comments

  1. i have never liked Eminem;
    but i think that was because of his personality/

    some of his lyrics are well composed

    but i guess i am too much of a JERK to really give him a chance

    ReplyDelete
  2. mmmkay, where I disagree:
    - Beach House
    - Taylor Swift (well, her album should def be below Robyn)

    why didn't Eminem's women-I'm-gonna-burn-your-ass make it?

    I still haven't seen Inception so I can't offer a right opinion, but Josh Groban made a great Inception joke the other day:

    if Chris Nolan directed a movie about Brett Farve, it would be called INTERCEPTION.

    hahaha

    also I love Nicki's pick hair. and I don't read Rolling Stone because it upsets me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. also I could care less about Conan and my keyboard sucks.

    ReplyDelete

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