Gryffindor Stanley Cup Win Controversial

Early indicators showed Slytherin House the sure winner, until some last minute trickery by Albus Dumbledore put Potter and pals in the lead. Final results had Ravenclaw finishing third and Hufflepuff steadily continuing the tradition of finishing fourth.

It is believed that Dumbledore awarded as many as 60 points to individuals within Gryffindor House for things as trivial as a "well-played game of chess." The last-minute funny business reportedly added an astounding 170 points to Gryffindor's total score, enough to award them the Stanley Cup.

Decorative banners bearing Slytherin's colors had already been hung and were immediately withdrawn and replaced, leaving students dumbfounded.

Team coach Severus Snape would not offer comment, but prospective seeker Draco Malfoy suggested that a change in league rules may reflect an affirmative action policy to facilitate the recent integration of muggle-borns. "The purity of the game," Malfoy stated, "has been soiled. First [the league] let them in, and now they want to play by their own rules."